I learned you can put in a ship request change the other day. So near the end of my contract on The Dream I plan on requesting The Wonder for my next contract. Why? Because it goes to Alaska. End of story. :)
Now, on to the fun bits. This past cruise I have been thrown up, pooped, and peed on. I have come home from work with markers, crayons, glitter, glue, and macaroni art in my pockets. I had glue on my face, which no one bothered to mention, and glitter in my tear duct. I’ve wiped noses, tears, and held so many little hands while searching for lost brothers/sisters/cousins/friends I’ve lost count. The best part? I’m having the time of my life. (Minus the being pooped on part.) But I figured you all would like to hear some stories...
Captain “Protein Spill” was a little boy of about 4 who was complaining about his tummy hurting. We sat down on the Cry Benches and I asked him his name, how old he was, if he was having fun, the usual. Then he threw up in the most graceful style I’ve ever seen. He leaned way over, spread his legs, and blew his lunch in a neat little puddle on the floor. He had hotdogs. They came out in perfectly formed chunks, which leads me to believe he did not chew his food but ate it whole like a python. He then promptly laid down and went to sleep. We called his parents and then housekeeping came to clean it up. I may not eat hotdogs ever again.
The Duchess of Poo and I met on Castaway Cay in Scuttle’s Cove. She was building a sand castle alone and crying. I went over to check on her and she gave me the standard, “I want my mommy!” I was trying to calm her down and then I asked her if she needed to go to the bathroom, to which she replied, “I did. I had an accident.” Oh man. Here we go. I asked her if she went pee or poo... “I pooped.” Awesome. The Duchess and I went to bathroom to check the damage and sure enough, this little four year old girl had produced enough poo to rival a grown man. On top of that, she had been sitting in it a while because she’s wiggled and managed to get it up her back, down, her legs, and embedded in her wet bathing suit. Who had to clean her up? This girl! I’ll let you guess how it went. I made it through... barely.
Princess Pee-Pants loved to dance. She loved to dance so much she couldn’t be bothered with leaning the Magic Playfloor to do something as silly as use the potty. So during our Dance Party she wandered off to a corner and relieved herself. Then she made a WIDE arc to get back on to the dance floor where she ran into me. We started dancing and having a big time until Talisa came over and told us not to move. She had tracked the Princess’s pee drips from the puddle to where we were dancing. I was dancing in pee. Fabulous. Princess was not bothered with this fact. She was more upset that she had to change her clothes and was losing dance time. Priorities matter.
We have a program called Super Sloppy Science where the kids can make Flubber, Exploding Volcanoes, etc. The experiments are conducted by our resident mad scientist, Professor Make-a-Mess. He has a violent shock of lime green hair, googly eyes, and is super clumsy with “dangerous” chemicals. Well, he scared the bejeezus out of one of my three year old boys on Volcano night. This little guy runs up to me in such a state of distress you would’ve thought the world was ending. He was crying so much I couldn’t understand him. When I finally deciphered his babbles I realized he was worried that Prof Make-a-Mess was going to blow up the ship with his volcanoes. He kept saying, “Bad green man! Go boom! Bad green man!” I finally convinced him these were little volcanoes and that Mickey had protected the ship from volcano explosions with a little help from Merlin and The Fairy Godmother. He believed me, but still whimpered “Bad green man!” every time he saw the Professor. He was so adorably cute and upset it was hard not to laugh at his distress. Kids believe anything.
And now on to a section I like to call, “The Things Kids Say...”
- “Are you policemen or guards?” Boy, age 4, asking what to call the counselors.
- “When I grow up I want to be single with kids. Boys are gross. I don’t want a husband!” Girl, age 6
- “Are you a mommy?” Every single child at some point or another
- “I’m so mad I can’t even think!” Girl, age 3, after misplacing her princess drawing
- “Does Tinkerbell have feathers?” Girl, age 4
- “Where do you sleep? In the lifeboats?” Boy, age 7
There are more stories I could tell, but I think that’s enough for now. On to the next cruise and more adventures!
Adios, Adieu, Au Revior!
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