The Lucky Nugget...

You know, our free time comes few and far between on board. This week I finally had a morning off until 1:00PM without a meeting or a safety drill I had to get up early for. I was so ridiculously excited to sleep in and relax it was unreal. But no. There is no sleep. Why? Because it is on this morning - MY morning off - that they choose to test the in-cabin speakers by playing “Welcome to the Lucky Nugget” on repeat for an hour and half. At full volume. If you haven’t heard this song, let me give you an idea. It’s Minnie Mouse, as a saloon girl, welcoming her friends Goofy and Mickey to the Lucky Nugget Saloon. It’s full of honky tonk pianos, snare drums, and a very loud brass section. Oh, and there’s a can-can portion at the end of the song. I know this so well, because I listened to it for AN HOUR AND A HALF. It’s fine though. I wasn’t beginning to think murderous thoughts about the officers responsible for this or anything. No. I was perfectly sane, in my cabin, listening to the Lucky Nugget over and over and over and over. Blarg!

Moving on, I have a new goal! I want to be an Entertainment Host. They are the people who actually put on the programs for the kids and interact with our special guest characters whenever they stop by. It looks like so much fun and I know I could do it. The next time they have auditions, I’m going for it. Especially after working on all the programs and getting a feel for what the Ent Hosts actually do. It’s right up my ally.

There is one program in particular which the Ent Hosts use to pick on the Counselors, though. Toy Story Boot Camp. You see, Corporal Green - the leader of the Green Army Soldiers - arrives in the club looking for recruits and assigns Counselors as platoon leaders for the kids. Now, you have to do whatever Corporal Green tells you to do. No matter what. So when he goes over the different toy poses and decides to go back and forth between “Snake In The Grass” (laying flat on the floor with your arms out in front of you like a sniper) and “Attention” (standing up and saluting) for five minutes you have to do it. If you don’t, you get to do pushups/jumping jacks/whatever else Corp Green comes up with. Let’s just say, after the last time I was on Toy Story Boot Camp, Corporal Green is on my list. That is all.

And now, for some ship vocabulary!
Today we will learn about Ship Goggles and the elusive SS.
Ship Goggles are metaphorical goggles worn by single crew members. Choices are limited in the dating world and these goggles turn someone you wouldn’t look twice at on land into Ryan Reynolds on board. I have not put these goggles on yet, but I know they exist and have seen their effects on some of my friends. Apparently, their use is inevitable. We shall see. I have also seen the ravenous effect a single, straight male has on the ladies of Youth Activities. One of our new hires is a confirmed SS (single and straight). You would’ve thought someone threw fresh meat into a pool of piranhas. Everyone is trying to get a look at him and suddenly we’re all doing our hair and putting a little more effort into our makeup. Poor guy doesn’t stand a chance...

In other news, I have taken over Pixie Hollow. I plan to do so for the entire month of December. How am I doing this, you may ask? Well, after thieving a giant box of coffee filters from the Oceaneer Lab, I have taken it upon myself to make snowflakes with the kids. We are decorating the tree in Pixie Hollow. I will try to get some pictures of it before housekeeping takes it down. Again. See, on the last night of every cruise my creations disappear. So - in true passive aggressive fashion, I make more. It’s become a little game. For every snowflake they take down, I make two more. The kids absolutely LOVE making them, and when parents come in they comment about how festive it looks. And we all know when the customers are happy, we do whatever we can to keep them that way. Therefore snowflake making continues! Victory! Along with this, one of the other counselors had made some foam die-cuts of ornaments. You better believe we will be bedazzling those suckers and hanging them up with our snowflakes. And of course, while we are doing these crafts, we’re singing Holiday Songs. (I say Holiday because technically we aren’t allowed to sing any ‘religious’ Christmas songs since it alienates those that don’t celebrate Christmas. But if some little kids starts Hark the Herald, we’re singing it. So there.) One little girl sang Jingle Bell Rock four times in a row. I joined her, of course. :)

This week was a special cruise since we ended up doing a double dip at Castaway due to inclement weather the first time around. What does this mean? This means that those disgusting TEVA sandals we have to wear rubbed my feet raw with blisters and now it hurts just to wear socks. I’m thinking about amputating my feet and getting rollerblades installed instead. Or possibly investing in a Segway. Thoughts?

It’s December 1st! Oh my Lord... this means only 100 days till I come home!!! Yay!!

Over and out!